The woman who accused Conor Oberst of raping her when she was 16 years old has offered a public apology today for her claims

Wait. I thought that women never lied about rape. President Obama's current standards for prosecuting sexual assault sure assume that.

That accuser must have really been a dude. Hey! That means that Conor Oberst is gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Erm...who's Conor Oberst?

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