I read a good article in Spiked decrying the proliferation of adolescent neologisms and arguing for ''standard" English. But I have to confess that I am conflicted by the concept.
One of the reasons is probably attributable to my experience with a certain type of English language reactionary. In 1968 I was a 7 year old Okie attending my first day at the English School of Abu Dhabi - hell it was the only school in Abu Dhabi. I asked to go to the 'bathroom' and was curtly told there there was none. I found that this was literally true a bit later while changing my urine soaked shorts. But never fear, I triumphed in the end: I consulted carefully with my father, marshaled my facts and the next day strode boldly up to the teacher and shouted "we beat you in a war". And I could tell by her expression that it stung.
In a just world I would have been borne out of the classroom on the shoulders of my cheering classmates like a Bedouin Mr. Chips except that I happened to be the only American in the bloody school. So instead some of the bigger lads beat me up after class. Behind the 'lavatories'. And to this day I remember wondering as the blows were raining down "what in the heck does pooping and peeing have to do with volcanoes?
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