The Modern Double Standard

One of the ways that it isn't your father's world any more is the way society treats sexual misbehavior differently for men and women.  Take sex tourism:  male sex tourism is considered deviant, even criminal while affluent, older women travelling to poor countries to buy 'love' from young men is 'celebrated' in films and TV shows.  Here's a good discussion of the phenomenon.

This is just part of a broader modern double standard:  males desire for sex is considered to be illegitimate unless validated by a woman's equal desire.  And since men's sex drives are so much stronger than women's this inevitably results in male sexuality even in marriage being considered excessive, a burden, even deviant.  And outside of marriage it gets even worse: male porn, overwhelmingly visual and graphic, showing unattainable women enthusiastically showering men with their heart's desire (lots of athletic, lights on sex) is rightly recognized as diseased.  Female porn showing unattainable men enthusiastically showering women with their heart's desire (money, status, obsession) is studied in churches as a window into souls.

The impact of this on marriages is devastating.  Wives come to look upon their husband's normal sexuality as abnormal and a burden while frustrated husbands secretly feel the same way.  As a result they can't talk about their needs with their wives (or anyone else).  And since they and their wives consider a man's normal needs inside of marriage to be somewhat illegitimate it becomes much easier for husbands to turn to other forms of illegitimate sex (porn, prostitutes, more willing women) to fulfill their illegitimized humanity.

This is a much bigger problem than it was in the the old, patriarchal society.  Back then most men had few realistic sexual outlets other than marriage and their wives were taught if not to be enthusiastic, at least 'dutiful'.  Today mere boys learn (as they always have) that girls are expensive, humiliating and ultimately frustrating so they turn (as they never could before) to an ever increasing flood of graphic and 'realistic' in the gynecological sense, porn.  Boys are learning that your HDTV is cheap and will never reject or humiliate you.

It seems that the true sex ratio between women who want men and men who can be bothered to burn money, time and ego to chase women has turned decisively against women.  The result - as always in our social economy - is that women have found that they must 'give' more and more for less and less to get and keep the attentions of men.  In a very real sense the feminist 'liberation' from sex inside marriage unless they wanted it has led their daughters to be trapped in a world where they find that they need to sexually exert themselves to even get to marriage.

In short, today's mothers and fathers by failing to deal honestly with their sexual relationships have truly screwed their kids.  And the 'orthodox' church, dominated by men who are women pleasers (you can't really lead a serious church unless you are at least in your 40's and 'happily' married), has decisively sided with its target matron customer, validating her illicit desires (see female porn above), anathemizing her husband's and in general validating her natural prejudices.

But the real question is what in the hell do I tell my kids?