Wednesday, March 18, 2015

The Gods must be crazy - EPA seeking to regulate back yard barbecues

Speaking as a long time resident of St. Louis, the barbecue sauce consumption capital of the world and Missouri, the buckle of the barbecue belt, have they popped their cork?  I can almost understand the regulation of cars, guns, booze and sex (well not really) but back yard barbecuing? Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do.  Screw that. If they try to take my back yard barbecue they will have to pry it from my burnt and blistered hands.  This will provoke mass rioting in St. Louis.  Mobs pushing smoking braziers will fire flaming briquets into government buildings.  Children with firestarter filled super soakers will set Federal herbacious borders (and themselves) aflame.  EPA administrators with (organic) apples in their mouths will be roasted on spits (and liberally slathered with mustard based grilling sauce because I bet they've been feeding on kale and quinoa and taste like hell).

And some Patrick Henry of the barbecue set will inevitably rise to the top shouting (much more sensibly IMHO) "Give me barbecue or give them death".  You think you've seen Jihad?  You ain't seen nothing until you try to take away the backyard barbecue half of our "barbecue and Cardinals" tradition.

Madness.  Utter madness. (think I'm joking?  Eric Schmitt, the State Senator for my old district has already begun a campaign (see that if successful, will carry him to the Governor's mansion if not the White House.  So watch for that name it's S-c-h-m-i-t-t, rhymes with s**t.)

No comments:

Post a Comment