For those of you old enough to remember, George H. W. Bush wanted to be president in 1988. Despite Reagan’s popularity, this was still a heavy lift. No sitting vice president had been elected straight to the Oval Office since Martin Van Buren. So, away from the cameras off at Kennebunkport, he sacrificed over 1,000 oxen, bulls, and gnus to Zeus, Crom, Baal, Thor, Moloch, M. C. Hammer and any other deity he could think of. The gods were well-pleased. As a reward for his sacrifice they delivered unto him a golem-homunculus named Michael Dukakis. (Dukakis in Greek means “Please give me a wedgie.”) Dukakis proved to be exactly the kind of opponent Bush needed.
For instance, in the very first question of a presidential debate, CNN’s Bernie Shaw asked Dukakis a hypothetical question: Would he favor the death penalty for the man who brutally raped and murdered his wife, Kitty? The golem-homunculus responded with all of the passion, empathy, and humanity you’d expect from a tiny little fake human or maybe -- when he really got worked up -- a Speak-&-Spell. And then he rode a tank while wearing a helmet that made him look like a really, really, serious Playmobil action figure.
Good times.
But that’s all ancient history. I bring up Michael Dukakis because Hillary Clinton seems to think he was on to something. I’m not referring to the fact that Dukakis famously got his nutrition from lichens, certain mosses, and by eating about 35 pounds of Skittles every day. (Fun fact: Michael Dukakis never went to the bathroom. Ever.) Rather, I’m referring to his declaration that “this election isn’t about ideology. It’s about competence.”
And now it turns out that Hillary Clinton. The Hillary! Of Rose Law Firm, Cattle Futures Trading brilliance, Healthcare Reform Genius, Russian Relations Savant and Libyan Security Boffins extraordinaire, and Presidential campaign failure plans to make her Presidential campaign mulligan all about "competence". Even pinchgut Mickey Dukakis couldn't pull that off and he'd actually run something.
Oh my maiden aunt this is going to be fun. An utterly incompetent President followed by someone even less competent at doing anything but being Bill's pathetic public doormat. As Jonah said: Good Times!
But that’s all ancient history. I bring up Michael Dukakis because Hillary Clinton seems to think he was on to something. I’m not referring to the fact that Dukakis famously got his nutrition from lichens, certain mosses, and by eating about 35 pounds of Skittles every day. (Fun fact: Michael Dukakis never went to the bathroom. Ever.) Rather, I’m referring to his declaration that “this election isn’t about ideology. It’s about competence.”
And now it turns out that Hillary Clinton. The Hillary! Of Rose Law Firm, Cattle Futures Trading brilliance, Healthcare Reform Genius, Russian Relations Savant and Libyan Security Boffins extraordinaire, and Presidential campaign failure plans to make her Presidential campaign mulligan all about "competence". Even pinchgut Mickey Dukakis couldn't pull that off and he'd actually run something.
Oh my maiden aunt this is going to be fun. An utterly incompetent President followed by someone even less competent at doing anything but being Bill's pathetic public doormat. As Jonah said: Good Times!
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