Skink that you skinker

So I was walking one day when I was confronted by a skink.  You know, the little lizards - this one happened to be black.  The skink was boldly standing athwart the bike path, fully two inches in height and four long.  I raised an eyebrow, he raised his eye...fold, I raised my other eyebrow, he raised his.  Then realizing that we looked like bug eyed fools we lowered them.



I said "let me pass my good Spink!"
"Nay, none shall pass unless they defeat me in mortal combat. And it's Skink, not Spink". "
"You must be kidding."
"No, I swear, it's Skink, I'm a Skink"
"I know you're a Skink, I meant you must be kidding that you, a two by four inch Skink is going to stop me, a two by six foot man"
"You're not six foot"
"Am to"
"Are not"
"OK, five foot ten. Two inches, big deal"
"It is if you're a Skink"
"Ah, good point.  So what about it?"
"What about what?"
"Are you going to let me pass"
"No"

So anyway this Skink - who I'll call 'Little John' - and I went back and forth in this manner for quite some time as bikes whizzed by us - any one of which would have smashed this lingering little lizard had I not been there to divert them.  But give the Skink his due:  he had guts - about two cubic centimeters worth as a matter of fact - so instead of finding a tiny stave so that we could do battle on even terms I relented and walked into the grass and around him. He exulted:
"What ho craven knave! Hast thou been bested by a mere Skink?"
"You stink, Skink"

And to this very day I detour around badass Little John Skink's patch of bikepath.

'Cause I don't want no trouble.