I find it ironic that the most exciting part of this ‘sport’: the ‘penalty shootout’ after 90 minutes of pointless to-ing and fro-ing is the part invented in the good ‘ol US of A. (And only used in the final round!). I used to go to NASL games when Tulsa had a team but could only do so drunk (which is a requirement shared by most Anglo-Saxon attendees, indicating their possession of at least a modicum of residual humanity).
Soccer is a sport played by foreigners to fill their pointless days with random wandering and kicking - sort of like Zebra or Wildebeest. No wonder the rest of the world is a wasteland. I spent my whole childhood overseas, having to chase a bleeding ball around the yard in utter pointless desperation (why? why?).
PG Wodehouse wrote in his Jeeves books about an imaginary English Fascist group: The Black Shorts. Its leader, Roderick Spode, designed ladies undergarments in his spare time under the name “Eulalie Sowers”. The rank and file wore black ‘Footers’, aka: soccer shorts. Just about sums it up for me. Bunch of fascist, pantywaist cross dressers in toddler’s short pants.
Oh Lord forgive me but I hate soccer.
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