A few of the many who find fault with what I write (or wear, eat, smell like, you name it) have pointed out that the story of "The Fall" is an allegory and isn't to be taken literally. No shit. And here I thought that the Satan Lizard dude must have gotten a mouth implant so that a lipless hisser could lie to the Naifs with a villain's classic English accent. Sigh. So I guess I'm going to need to write one more of these Eden rants so you chaps don't go through life looking stupid. Parts One, two and three are available for your viewing nausea.
Of course it's allegory. But I'm not sure that the word means what some of you think it does - which to judge from your comments is 'bullshit'. By contrast an allegory is simply a story that illustrates truths about the real world, moral or otherwise. The purpose of the allegory, particularly in the Bible, it to teach us about God's nature, how God thinks about us and creation. So whether it's naifs, upjumped monkeys or mexican jumping beans his Bible tells us what in some way, shape or form, he did to our forefathers and hopefully some explanation as to why and whatintheheck He thinks we're supposed to do about it. This includes:
1. God made us. No details, no specs, and certainly no warranty but He's very clear: Homo Sapiens is a Premier God product.
2. He has a relationship with us in a way that he doesn't with any other species not to mention the rocks and methane deposits. He interacts with us on a sentient, moral basis. You know, with words, sentences, smites and plagues.
3. He has hidden a whole bunch of knowledge from us - including the ability to distinguish accurately between good an evil - at least that's my surmise as to what that damned tree was for. And he's given us the raw brain power and bloody mindedness to go and find where He hid it.
4. He used the Adam and Eve Fall kerfuffle to justify or perhaps explain his decision to subject us to death and eternal torment. Personally. By Him.*
5. He is the author of temptations and he allows His greatest enemy - Satan to sow doubt, lies, confusion and fear among us, knowing that this is killing us.
6. He could fix everything or otherwise 'sort ' it out but it pleases Him to let it all 'hang fire' or alternatively he has fiendishly orchestrated every event, pratfall, owie, victory, and denouement so convincingly that many otherwise brilliant people assume He doesn't exist.
7. He sent part of himself to earth to engage in a ritualistic 'death' and consignment to hell as a means either symbolic or real to save some but most likely not all of us from consequence of the Fall that He engineered.
8. He's produced 60 billion souls and counting under this system so presumably he's cool with the status quo.
9. Nobody and I mean nobody really knows why in heaven he's doing any of this. When people say things like 'reign' or 'enter into a relationship' or 'enjoy' they are just telling you that they don't have the foggiest what Mr. Big is up to.
So there you have it: what it means to you, me or the price of premium grade Skunk is beyond me and I suspect beyond the people who make a living giving answers to life's little mysteries. I mean we all have nice theories and theologies, acrostics, psalteries, devotionals, chants, cheers, bible apps and little WWJD wrist bands to spare but it's all built on the same short stack of cryptic ancient chicken scratches that scholars have obsessed on for two thousand years. People make a big deal about how the Bible 's provenance is more certain than any other ancient artifact or fact for that matter. Wonderful. But I'd take a little bit of dodginess on who wrote what when if it gave some more concrete answers as to what this God guy is up to. But answer that question and......you'd be God.
*Unless you believe that the Tri Omni outside of time and space God who can do anything can't dial back something that Adam and Eve Dumbass did one afternoon. Which apparently is the only thing He can't do so he's 'forced' to kill and torture us. You know, the more I think about it, the notion that God is three persons in one makes sense. It sounds like there's quite a tussle in there over the steering wheel, which would explain a lot of the bloomin' confusion: we keep talking to different parts of the Godhead and they are telling us different things: I love you, I hate you, I'm reasonable, I'm teetering on the edge of genocidal /homicidal mayhem. We're weaving from the left ditch to the median, then backing out the on ramp while flooring and braking at the same time while our theological keepers are doing a great imitation of Kevin Bacon screaming 'all is well' over and over and over again.
No comments:
Post a Comment