The 'Fuck 'em if they want to be a joke' Right

I confess: I was a GWOTter from the get-go.  From the tip of my GWB decoder ring to the soles of my Toby Keith Signature "Put a boot in their ass" Tony Llamas.  No longer.  The hanky heads are going to have to wipe their own AssQuaedas.

Neither will I continue to be a NATOady carrying water (and ammo) for a bunch of foppish dessicated Euro elves and hobbitses who are always going "ooh, you have to put the ring back in Sauron's volcano it's too powerful for you, help? why certainly, don't worry, we're right behind you - way behind you."

And I no longer care if Iran gets the bomb, is the bomb or gets bombed. We get our Persian rugs from North Carolina.

And if the SoKos want to piss and moan about us I say let them piss and moan at the NoKos because a country that can't whip Kim Jong Nutjob whose idea of an A lister is Dennis Rodman...well, they should be ruled by a nutjob who's friends with Dennis Rodman.

And I for one am utterly sanguine about a reboot of the timeless and quite sanguinary Sino-Nippo grudgefest over whether their silly chicken scratch script means Japan talk or China talk or (as I claim) no talk.  We have way the hell to many people making thingamabobs anyway.

And if the Russkies get pushkie, if you can't pushkie back against a drunken, oafish and utterly incompetent state that's dying before your eyes then maybe you are drunken, oafish and utterly incompetent and should go die somewhere where you won't make a smell.

And the Canadians: the mild mannered, supercilious, self righteous quasi French Canadians who name their only Army unit that actually gets to shoot guns after Patty Duke.  After decades providing you free security and access to our bitchin' economy you need to pay rent if you're going to live up in our attic.  Or pipe down, way down.

I am sick of treating Mexican immigrants twice as well as Mexico treats her immigrants and Chinese and Indian immigrants ten times better than they treat their own damned citizens.   And still being told that I'm a racist yahoo.  So I say go the full Yahoo:  I am a member of the "Fuck 'em if they want to be a joke Right".

The Fuck 'em if they want to be a joke Right (or 'Fuck-'ems' for short) believe that WWI and WWII were actually swell times for America:  we stayed out until the gettin' in was good, kicked ass and ended up with all the marbles.  Without having to say mother may I to hanky heads, hobbitses, Rodmanites or Ayatollahs.  I mean we live a long way away from most of the crazies and a simple adjustment to our immigration policy that bans anyone named Mohammed or looks like they should be named Mohammed will solve the terror probem rather nicely.  That and post-paid return nuclear missiles to the nation of origin of any Muhammeds that sneak through.  Glass encased, fused rubble don't make trouble.

And to those who claim that this proves that we're not compassionate I say hell I'm as compassionate as I've ever been, I just ain't paying for it anymore.  If you don't want to get your ass kicked by the neighbors, get some serious guns or answer that Charles Atlas "I was a 98 pound weakling of a country" ad in the back of your comic books.  To put it bluntly: grow a pair.  And if you're a gelded Scandinavian sitzpinkler then sit the hell back down before I get pissed.

We 'Fuck-ems' have a very simple foreign policy:  Leave us the fuck alone and we won't fuck you up.  Bother us and we will be the last hyper-puissant you pissants ever piss off.  And if any of you geopolitical pygmies want something, you need to ask.  Nicely.  If we aren't using Belgium at the moment we would be happy to let you take the Walloons out for a spin - but don't damage the paintwork:  it's Flemish and really expensive.

And we really don't want much from you other than to keep your Mohamhands to yourself.  We'll happily trade with you if you'll trade with us, we'll continue to participate in all the sappy little multilateral gottados like Airline Routes and Boat Sailin' Rules.  And you can use our GPS and witty language as much as you want, no charge.  And you can call us anything you want so long as the missus can't hear you back home.  Hurt her feelings and you'll be in a world of hurt.  Because if there is one thing more dangerous than the American Nation aroused, it's the American Nation aroused because you hurt our Momma's feelings.

So world its simple:  mind your Ps and Qs, shut your yaps, say please and may I in legible English and don't let the Frenchies get anywhere near us and everything will be hunky dory.  Fail to live by these timeless precepts and as the bard of Tulsa says:  "We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way"

'Nuff said.